


somehow the world will change for me (and be so wonderful)

by Sequesters



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, iCarly
Genre: Angel!Freddie, F/M, Gen, Good Omens AU, I am a thousand percent serious about this AU, Just you wait - Freeform, demon!Sam, if you came here looking for crack, there will be emotions, you will not find it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-02-23 05:27:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23006461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sequesters/pseuds/Sequesters
Summary: Benthiel and Puck, an angel and a demon, have been enjoying their earthly existence for six thousand years.  Once the antichrist arrives in their hometown of early 21st century Seattle, it's a race to stop Armageddon from coming to pass by influencing the sweet little girl who lives in apartment 8-C.The only problem? She's not actually the antichrist. She's the antichrist'ssister.
Relationships: Freddie Benson & Sam Puckett, Freddie Benson/Sam Puckett, i don't know whether i'm gonna do Seddie or not but just know that they're close
Comments: 14
Kudos: 27





	1. It's your time to be

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Good Omens AU with the characters and setting of iCarly, it started out as a fun concept but I'm serious about it and it's going to be a long one. Huge, HUGE shoutout to invincible-ironthot and calculator-menace on Tumblr, I could NOT have done any of this without you two allowing me to Yell about it <3 Also, thanks to calculator-menace for drawing the illustration!!
> 
> Buckle up everybody!

The garden of Eden was a pretty nice place to live, if you were the first humans ever to live on the planet earth. Plenty to eat, plenty to drink, beautiful weather all year round…all things considered, it was well and truly paradise.

Until Eve ate from the forbidden tree, of course. And then shared it with Adam.

Which got them both kicked out of that paradise, AND severely punished for their transgressions.

And the rest, as they say, is history. Literally.

What isn’t widely known, however, or even widely CARED about, is that an angel and a demon watched them go, from atop the Eastern wall of Eden.

The angel and the demon were both much older than time, but the corporations that they wore in order to inhabit the physical plane were brand new, and they wore them uncomfortably—the demon had too many claws, the angel had too many eyes, and neither had any sort of concept of what a gender was. It was rather like wearing new clothes that hadn’t been broken in yet.

Regardless, there they stood, watching the humans blaze a new trail out into the shifting sands.

“Phew, what a mess,” noted the demon.

“…Huh?” said the angel.

“I said what I said,” They said, defiance in their voice, “What a  _ mess _ .”

“You’re a demon, right?” said the angel, looking them up and down, “I’m sure you LOVE messes.”

“Of COURSE I’m a demon, you  _ nub _ , who ELSE would be hanging around the garden of Eden right about now?” hissed the demon, sticking out their snake-like tongue.

The angel gasped. “Are YOU the one who tricked Eve into eating the apple?!”

The demon puffed out their chest, and flicked an errant golden lock of hair back in a display of pride. “Yep! Puck the demon, part-time serpent of Eden, at your service.”

“Benthiel,” said the angel stiffly, “Benthiel the angel. Except…NOT at your service.”

“Ooh, I see how it is, you only serve the  _ Big Guy _ , don’t ya!”

Puck poked Benthiel in the face with one of their fingers, while said angel attempted to keep their composure.

“Stop it!” they finally scolded, swatting the hand away, “The human’s exile from Eden is a SOLEMN time!!”

“Fine, fuck  _ me _ for being a bit irreverent!” said Puck, smiling at the glare that Benthiel threw their way, “It’s only my JOB to be that way.”

“Or your NATURE,” said Benthiel scathingly.

Puck fell silent, scuffing the wall with the bottom of their clawed foot.

“You know, considering YOUR nature, I’m surprised you’re still  _ talking  _ to me,” Puck said, after a moment’s silence.

“What am I gonna do, ignore you? You’re making that pretty  _ difficult _ ,” Benthiel noted with a tiny smile.

“Well, I dunno. I’m a  _ demon _ . I sort of thought you would…strike me down, flaming sword and all-“

Puck froze, looking back out at Adam’s retreating figure.

They squinted at the little spark of flame that he was holding like a weapon, and then back to a suddenly very uncomfortable,  _ very _ unarmed Benthiel.

“You-y-you-“ Puck garbled in incredulity, “You GAVE it to them?!”

Benthiel nodded miserably.

“Wow. What did…y’know…” Puck pointed upward, “ _ They _ say about that?”

“What God doesn’t know won’t hurt Them,” mumbled Benthiel.

Puck went slackjawed. “You…lied? To GOD?!”

“Aw, come on Puck, God cast them OUT!” Benthiel outbursted, “For just…eating from the wrong tree, that was SMACK DAB in the middle of their habitat! The least I could do, y’know, in sympathy for them getting tricked by a DEMON,” Benthiel sent a pointed look at Puck, “Was to give them something that would help them  _ survive _ out there.”

Puck whistled low.

“Your secret is safe with me,” Puck said, slightly awed, “But holy  _ shit _ .”

“Yeah, that’s kind of how I feel right now,” Benthiel trailed off, looking pointedly out to the horizon.

Puck followed their gaze, brow furrowed deep in thought.

“Y’know what, Benthiel?” Puck declared, “I bet…God WANTED this to happen.”

Benthiel turned to her in alarm. “What?!”

“Well…like you said yourself,” Puck said airily, “Smack dab in the middle of their habitat. God must have KNOWN that it would only be a matter of time.”

“That’s-that’s BLASPHEMY!” Benthiel gasped.

“Duh! Demon! I LOOOOOVE blasphemy!” Puck said, pointing at themself with both of their corporation’s hands, AND a few extra hands that they had manifested to make a point.

Benthiel rolled about half of their eyes.

“SPEAKING of blasphemy, by the way,” Puck continued, miracling away the extraneous limbs, “I bet you that God  _ wanted  _ you to give them your sword. They knew, I bet you, that the humans would die out there without it.”

“I don’t have to listen to this,” Benthiel said, holding their temples in the Earth’s first iteration of a stress-induced migrane.

“Just sayin!” Puck said, in a sing-song way, “God’s plan.”

Benthiel rounded on Puck.

“It wasn’t God’s PLAN to have them eat from the tree, Puck, it was YOURS!” they declared, “You tricked her into eating it in the first place, right?”

Puck snorted. “I didn’t even TRICK her! She did it by her-“

They suddenly clapped a hand over their mouth.

Benthiel raised a slow, curious eyebrow.

Puck seemed to fight internally for a moment, and then sighed.

“I didn’t really…trick her into eating the fruit,” Puck admitted.

“What?” asked Benthiel, in genuine curiosity.

Puck flicked their eyes downwards. “I took credit for it, to get my boss off my back,” they whispered, “But it wasn’t even my idea.”

A silence, charged with crackling energy, fell between the two of them.

“What  _ did _ you do?” asked Benthiel, in a hushed whisper.

“Well, I was PLANNING on playing the long game,” Puck explained, “You know how it is. Strike up a friendship with Eve, make her trust the friendly old garden snake, get her to turn her back on God, laugh maniacally all the way back to Hell. The works. But one of the first things she said to me was, and I quote, ‘I wanna eat from the forbidden tree.’”

Benthiel leaned forward, hanging onto Puck’s every word.

“So I played along, and said ‘nooo, don’t eat from the forbidden tree’ and she said, ‘don’t tell me what to do, foul demon’ and then she ate from the forbidden tree!”

Benthiel blinked. That was…NOT what was sent in the company memo.

“I still don’t know if she knew I was a demon, or was just insulting me, or what!” Puck said, gesturing wildly, “But, either way, I am SO proud of her.”

They both looked out at the ever-shrinking humans, walking on toward the infinite horizon.

“That’s the thing that your side doesn’t really understand,” Puck said quietly, “Humans REALLY don’t like being told what to do. But it only takes a…subtle nudge to move them in the right direction. Or the wrong one.”

Benthiel stayed quiet, processing this new knowledge with a furrowed brow.

“You are…terrifyingly smart, Puck,” they concluded.

“Well thanks, angel,” smirked Puck, “I’ll be sure to use that intelligence to thwart the forces of good for all eternity.”

Benthiel rolled their eyes, but still extended their wing to shelter the demon as the first ever thunderstorm rolled in above them.


	2. show me what you can become

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benthiel and Puck meet up at Noah's ark.

Like two sides of the same coin, they kept on coming together.

Like two sides of the same coin, they were complete  _ opposites _ .

They settled into their quasi-human life, settling loosely in various societies, and settling loosely in the human concept of gender. Benthiel preferred to be perceived male, while Puck preferred to be perceived female, with a few notable exceptions. And despite their opposite natures, their approaches were both informed by that one day in Eden--the smaller the gesture, the better humans responded to it.

Which meant that, by the time of Noah, they were very, very good at cancelling each other out.

-

Noah’s great boat, being loaded with all sorts of animals, was something of a public spectacle. Certainly, it was the most interesting thing to happen for miles around, so everyone who had heard of Noah’s plan had come to see it, bringing their entire family to gawk at the madman with a boat in the middle of the desert.

Including Benthiel himself. The final animals were being loaded, the clouds above were stormy, and no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t make himself feel good about what was coming next.

Just then, a group of loud, raucous children ran by, engrossed in one of their little games, completely unaware that this was most likely their final day on Earth.

Benthiel watched them warily. Puck was the one who actually  _ liked  _ children. If pressed, and very drunk, she might even admit to it, WITH the addendum that she only liked them for how much potential for evil they contained. She DID invent the phrase “children are cruel”, after all.

Benthiel, on the other hand, loved  _ all _ of God’s creatures.

At least that’s what he told himself through gritted teeth, when one of the more... _ rambunctious  _ children came up and kicked him in the shin. 

He groaned as pain burst through his leg. He really didn’t know  _ why _ his corporation had to come with pain receptors, he made a mental note to file a formal complaint to Body Assignments later.

“Heyyyyy Benthiel,” the child said, her eyes flashing from dark brown to yellow.

Benthiel blinked in surprise.

“Puck?!” he asked, “Why are you...a child?”

“I’m spreading chaos amongst the young folk! The youth are the future, after all, and I want to make sure that the future contains as much chaos as possible. I taught them a song that never ends,” she said smugly, her yellow eyes shining through her disguise of a dark-haired child.

Benthiel heaved a heavy sigh. “Too bad most of them won’t live to pass it on.”

Puck cocked an eyebrow, and shapeshifted into her preferred adult form.

“Wh….why not?” she asked, voice carefully casual.

“Well, God has this...has this PLAN,” Benthiel began, just as carefully, “They’ve been umm... _ not happy _ with all the, y’know, violence and other-other behavior of some of the people down here and-aw, I really shouldn’t be telling you this, youre a  _ demon _ .”

Puck flung her arms out to the side. “What am  _ I _ gonna do about it? Try to thwart  _ God’s _ plan? That’s waaaay above my pay grade, angel. Spill.”

“Good point,” Benthiel acknowledged in relief, continuing on, “Well, God’s planning to...um...flood the world. Forty days and forty nights. They’re only...only leaving Noah’s progeny and all of the animals in this ark left alive, to repopulate afterward.”

“The WORLD?!” said Puck, jaw dropping.

“I-uh, I’m not sure, actually,” said Benthiel, looking around, “all I know is that They're definitely flooding the locals, the whole-whole Mesopotamian basin.”

Puck took a glance back at the little gaggle of children that she had just been among, moments ago. They were singing the song that doesn’t end to their parents, who were looking less than thrilled.

“Even the...kids?!” she asked, her voice attempting to stay steady.

“Yeah,” Benthiel sighed. He felt tired.

“Why the KIDS?” she exploded, “They aren't violent,  _ despite  _ all of my efforts! They didn’t do anything wrong!”

“I don’t know, I don't know,  _ don’t _ shoot the messenger!! I have no control over it, Puck! I’m just here because-”

He sighed.

Puck leaned in, sensing a chance to humiliate Benthiel before it even left his mouth.

“Yeah, Benthiel,” she asked, leaning in close to his ear with a smile, “What IS your job in all this?”

Benthiel crossed his arms. Must be one of her demonic powers, being able to tell when he was about to say something  _ embarrassing. _

“I’m supposed to be the  _ dove _ ,” he grumbled, “Upstairs gave me an assignment to shapeshift into a dove, and then be thrown out of a window in the ark as a sign of peace, once the Great Flood is over. They said...they can’t trust the real doves to make the flightpath correctly.”

“Mascot duty?” asked Puck amusement in her voice, “They’ve got you on MASCOT duty?!”

“Shut up, Puck,” grumbled Benthiel.

“Whatever. I’m sure it’s a VERY important job, or they wouldn’t give it to a rule-following little nub like you,” Puck said, her teasing tone betrayed by a dark storm brewing in her golden eyes. 

“Always nice to see you, Puck,” Benthiel spat her name like a curse.

She smirked. “M-hm, likewise. I gotta go now, though. Lots to do...lots to  _ plan _ .”

Benthiel didn’t trust that look.

“What are you up to, Puck?” Benthiel called, as she walked away. “Don’t TRY to go against the Almighty’s plan, it won’t work.”

“I can’t change Their plan,” Puck said evasively, “But I’ve got my own...stuff.  _ Waaay _ below Their pay grade. They won’t notice it, I promise!”

When Benthiel boarded the boat himself, he was surprised to find that the inside was much, much bigger than the outside.

Another of God’s miracles, no doubt.

He made his way down to the bottom levels where the animals were kept, walked down the rows to the very last cage, and settled down behind it.

That’s when he heard a giggle, and a SHH.

He froze. Was Puck here? Trying to mess with him, on the  _ ark?! _ Oh, he would smite her back to hell for this-

“Let there be light!” Benthiel called, and a tiny golden orb floated above his palm.

Deep in the underbelly of the ark, behind the very last animal’s cage, was Puck, with her wings out protectively.

Upon seeing that it was Benthiel, she relaxed from fight-ready to merely tensely coiled. 

Benthiel cocked his head to the side in a silent question.

Puck slowly lifted one of her wings, and dark eyes peered out with interest at Benthiel.

The same gaggle of children that Puck had been playing with earlier that day, had taken refuge behind her demonic wings.

Puck looked at Benthiel.

Benthiel looked at Puck.

He nodded once.

And he extinguished his light.

What could he do, but look the other way?

If the Almighty ever asked (and They never did), Benthiel would say that yes, he had been thwarted, but wasn’t it for the best? Interbreeding amongst humans could get very dangerous, and wasn’t it actually a GOOD thing that Puck had brought these interlopers along, for the continued survival of the human race?

He practiced this little speech in his head often, but never had the chance to actually use it. No one ever asked.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody, I'm back at it again! The next three chapters will be these two's "cold open", as it were. I was going to put it in one big giant Hell Chapter, but decided against it because it was frustrating me too much. Since they are shorter, I hope I'll be able to get them out quicker!   
> Huge thanks to Cal (who did the illustration last chapter) for giving me some inspiration on how their conversation went.


	3. I can make you change your mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our dynamic duo meet yet again in 15th century Germany, where Benthiel learns how thoroughly Heaven reads his memos, and Puck learns to appreciate the written word.

If asked, Benthiel would say he was pretty good at his job, especially when Puck hadn’t caught up to him yet. He could influence souls with the best of them, and had a knack for performing the right blessings at the right time. But his _passion_ was human innovation. Heaven never adopted anything new, they never needed it—their long-distance communication was just fine, they could get anywhere they needed to go in the blink of an eye, and thoughts could simply be implanted into another angel’s head if need be, thought it was considered rude to do so without asking. 

But the humans had no such luxuries. They had to fight for every convenience, for every connection, and the processes that they dreamed up for it FASCINATED Benthiel. Reading, writing, horse-drawn carriages, and  _clocks_ , the wondrous things. Benthiel would often take assignments in places strategically close to known centers of innovation, JUST so he could explore more of them in his downtime. In fact, the only redeeming factor of his disastrous 9 th century China assignment* was the fact that he had assisted a very sweet Buddhist man in the invention of the printing press, which revolutionized the written word for centuries to come. Even though he had to report that one as a loss officially, he still left with a sense of having been useful, and important.

*He was trying to convince the emperor to change his ways, and bring prosperity to his people, but Puck had gotten there first—the entire nobility was too mired in sloth and greed and selfish thought, and it lead to the downfall of the entire dynasty.

If asked, Puck would say that she was  _very_ good at her job. She had no reason to be humble about it, she was the Serpent of Eden, for Satan’s sake! She could rake in the souls with the best of ‘em, and she understood wh at the rest of Hell was slow on the uptake to get—small actions lead to big consequences. But her  _passion_ was chaos. 

Sure, her coworkers would spend a full decade to carefully lead one soul into damnation, and there was a certain...art to doing it that way. But she was the one who always brought in the big numbers. Humans were always just ITCHING to hurt each other, and they were better at it than she was, so all she had to do was just...tempt a few of them the right way, perhaps encourage some revolts amongst the poor and downtrodden*, and boom!  No matter the outcome, there’d always be plenty of souls to make Downstairs happy, and utter madness in the streets that she could watch with undisguised glee. 

*Whether this was an encouragement of the sin of wrath or the virtue of justice was the subject of many a drunken argument with Benthiel, and to this day they still disagree.

And so the centuries marched on in this way, as the human population grew and flourished all over the globe. Puck and Benthiel c ontinued to butt heads, compete over souls, and simply watch as humanity grew ever more complex.

1490 A.D.

“Stop that thief!” came a shout from the street.

Benthiel looked up from his typesetting work to see a little boy ZOOM into his shop, hiding behind a precarious stack of vellum.

“You there!” asked the local shopkeeper, pointing a finger at Benthiel, “Have you seen a little boy run this way?” 

Benthiel looked back at the boy, whose eyes suddenly flashed an unearth l y yellow.

He looked back at the shopkeeper, and sighed deeply. He didn’t want to ruin this man’s day by subjecting him to whatever  P uck h ad planned .

“No,” he Suggested, “I think you should look...elsewhere.”

The shopkeeper’ s eyes unfocused for just a moment, then he snapped back to himself.

“Alright then, carry on,” he mumbled to Benthiel, and sauntered further down the cobbled street.

“Awww, do you ALWAYS have to ruin my fun, Benthiel?” said the little boy, shapeshifting before his very eyes into Puck’s preferred adult form—a woman, with long golden locks.

Benthiel rolled his eyes at the sight of his adversary.

“Petty theft, Puck? Really?” Benthiel said, crossing his arms.

“Hey, it’s the perfect crime!” she said, shrugging, “It’s low-effort, gets the rich all hot and bothered, I _love_ it.”

B enthiel tutted with disapproval.

“And, it’s even worse if they CATCH me,” she said, cackling with evil, “Because once I’ve got you in my clutches...all HELL will break loose.”

Benthiel narrowed his eyes with suspicion.

“Waaaait a minute,” he said warily, “You’re not here to _thwart_ me, are you? I will KILL you if you mess with my typesetting. And stop touching my vellum!”

“Naaah,” Puck said, deliberately running her fingers along the thin sheets of vellum, “Ball’s in your court right now, anyway.”

Benthiel pursed his lips as he remembered the last bit of “thwarting” Puck had done.

“I can’t believe you started a WAR just to get back at me,” he said, putting the stamps away with a little more force than necessary, “I had to FLEE England because of you!”

“Hey!” Puck scoffed, offended, “I didn’t start the WAR!” 

She paused, and twisted one of the perfectly-aligned paper stacks by five degrees.

“I simply... _encouraged_ a few peasant revolts,” she explained, “Barely _anything_ in the grand scheme of what it turned out to be. In fact, it was YOUR side that turned it into a stupid _war_.”

Benthiel bristled. “ _My_ side had NOTHING to do with-”

“But even if I did, you deserved it. For destructionnnnn of property,” Puck said, narrowing her eyes at him as she twisted ANOTHER stack of his vellum by ten degrees, “And _psychological damage.”_

“Replacing your salted _meat_ stash with fruits and vegetables was doing your stupid corporation a FAVOR-”

“Ow!” Puck shouted, holding her finger.

“Ohhh, did you get a PAPERCUT?!” Benthiel mocked. ‘Serves you RIGHT, for rubbing your nasty demonic hands all over my SUPPLIES-”

“No, it’s...it’s HOLY,” she said, wincing in pain, “Why do you have HOLY paper in your shop?!”

“I do not-wait, what?” he asked, suddenly noticing the unnaturally blindingly white piece of paper on top of the nearest stack.

Benthiel peered down at the holy envelope, and gasped,  excitement flooding his body .

“It’s-it’s a commendation!!” he said, unable to contain his joy.

“NEEEERD!!” Puck called from the opposite side of the shop, nursing her finger by lounging across a workbench like the lazy apprentices she so often influenced.

“Shut UP, Puck, I hardly EVER get acknowledgment from Upstairs!” he said, tearing the envelope open in his haste.

“Ooh, good, they’ve FINALLY recognized you for being the ULTIMATE goodie-two-shoes,” Puck said sarcastically, “Yippee for you.”

Benthiel ignored her, straightening the bright white paper out and beginning to read.

“Commendation awarded to Benthiel the Angel for-” 

Benthiel deflated as he read the next line.

“For...the printing press,” he said finally.

Puck raised her head up off the bench, looking askance at Benthiel.

“ _You_ did that?” she asked.

“No-well, yes,” Benthiel said, putting the paper down with a sigh, “I did, six hundred _years_ ago. In China.”

“Hah. I remember that,” said Puck smugly.

“But this commendation is for the _Gutenberg_ machine,” he gestured out to the one he was working on, “For ‘better spread of the Lord’s word’.”

Benthiel flicked his eyes upward. “Wow. THANKS Michael.”

“Could you put that thing away? It stinks of Good in here,” Puck said, wrinkling her nose.

Benthiel placed  the commendation in the typesetting drawer, and she relaxed.

Puck put her head back down. “That just  _proves_ my point, you know. That they’re not reading your stupid memos.”

“Don’t even _start_ , Puck,” Benthiel groaned.

“Come on, Benthiel! Don’t tell me you haven’t thought at ALL about what I’ve said.”

“Oh, you mean the _Arrangement_?” said Benthiel mockingly , wiggling his fingers at her, “For one, it’s a _stupid_ name-”

“Shut up, _angel_ , it’s stealthy!” said Puck, “And? It would save you a lot of time, if you’re only willing to lie a little on your memos that they DON’T READ ANYWAY.”

“Lying is against the _rules,_ Puck,” said Benthiel, turning back to his typesetting.

“So?”

“All God’s angels are solid and true, and lying’s a thing we never do!” he recited.

Puck laughed. “What was that, another one of Michael’s little rhymes?”

“Maybe.”

“Come on, Benthiel, don’t you get tired of thwarting me? I get tired of thwarting you!”

She sat up, abandoning her laid back stance.

“How many times have we been in the _same_ city, doing equal and opposite assignments?” she asked him, gesturing wildly, “Bless this priest, CORRUPT this priest, build this church, desecrate this church! _Ever_ _y_ _single time_ one of us does something, the other one just...comes along, and undoes it! We might as well have just-just both stayed at home!”

“I-I can’t just let the forces of _evil_ -” Benthiel gestured at Puck, “Run RAMPANT. It’s my JOB!”

“And yet, we’ve been drinking together for the past few MILLENIA.”

“That doesn’t count, that’s...off-duty hours,” Benthiel grumbled, “Besides, I-I can’t just make a deal with the DEVIL. Do you KNOW how badly that’d go over with Michael? Or GABRIEL, for that matter?”

“It wouldn’t be a Devil’s Deal, you _nub_ ,” Puck argued, “you don’t even have a mortal soul to barter! It’d be our own….thing. Maybe we could even cover for each other, sometimes. Satan knows that it’s hard enough to transport these fleshy prisons around the physical plane sometimes, and I’d rather perform a MILLION blessings than go all the way to Scotland on horseback again.”

“Please don’t call our corporations ‘fleshy prisons’, Puck,” Benthiel said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Whatever, Benthiel,” shrugged Puck, “You _know_ I’m right.”

Benthiel opened his mouth to argue, but then closed it again. 

“It’s-It’s getting late,” he finally said, setting down his tools with a sigh, “And your DEMONIC PRESENCE is distracting me from my _work._ I’m going to get some wine.”

“Ooh, you have wine??” she said, perking up considerably, “Bring me back some too!” 

“Only if you don’t touch my _stuff!_ ” he spat, before turning around and heading to the cellar.

Benthiel spent the entire walk to and from the cellar trying very hard not to think about how easy it would be to  just agree to  Puck’s arrangement idea.

Even he had to admit, they weren’t exactly...mortal enemies, despite being on opposite sides. His interactions with her on the clock were less FIE, DEMON FROM HELL and more of...well, he hated to say it, but it could be better described as a PRANK WAR. If she tempted a local governor into sin, he would bless his entire staff. If he created a charity for humans to help each other, she would tempt someone at the top to embezzle the money. If she caused unrest in the city that Benthiel was supposed to attend a lecture in, well, he would replace all her meat with fruits and vegetables. But he could never bring himself to do her any real DAMAGE, because...because…

Because of that night on Noah’s ark.  Anyone who did what she did...well they couldn’t be ALL bad, could they?

WOULD there be any harm, really, in working with her? Just to lessen his own workload, a little?

Benthiel shivered, and not from the cold.

“Don’t let her tempt you, Benthiel,” he said to himself, his voice echoing off of the cellar walls, “It’s against the rules.”

When he came back up, he was surprised to find Puck completely engrossed in a copy of Das Narenschiff.

“Are you...READING?!” he asked incredulously.

“These things are great, it’s like live theater in your head!” Puck proclaimed, looking up at Benthiel with wild, yellow eyes, “Why the Heaven didn’t you TELL me, you nub?!”

“W-what?! I’ve been TRYING to tell you since the written word was INVENTED-”

“Shut up, Benthiel!” she interrupted, golden eyes flicking back and forth across the page, “I’m _reading_.”

Benthiel rolled his eyes, but poured two glasses of wine with a fond smile.

P uck didn’t touch her wine until she was finished with the book, Benthiel noted with joy.

Later on, Benthiel watched as Puck convinced a man to not only nail his theses up to the door of the Catholic church, but also to use the printing press to better disseminate his controversial statements, and Benthiel regretted even TELLING her about the written word in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back, after four months, with some iCarly of all things.  
> This chapter and next chapter are kind of like a two-parter, that discuss how these two in particular came to have their version of the Arrangement. I'm going to be very, very heavily drawing from one of my favorite iCarly episodes next chapter, so...considering I can update it in a reasonable time frame, get excited for that!   
> I'm sorry that there are SO MANY CHAPTERS of these two's cold open, this is just the way I've chosen to structure the story. No going back now! Antichrist stuff begins in a chapter or two.  
> Thanks for reading this crossover! I appreciate every last one of you.

**Author's Note:**

> Two things posted within 24 hours? From noted glacially slow writer Sequesters? Perish the thought!
> 
> I forgot that I had posted this on tumblr a while ago, and that meant that it was in publishable condition to go here too! I've got the rest of it hammered out a lot better now, so I'll be updating them as I hammer them further into publishable condition as well. The 6k years between this and the antichrist has a few different segments in it and I want to get them all right.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


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